– It depends on what is considered a session. There are a lot of fetishes. The bottom can only enjoy service, boot and foot fetish. In such cases, devices are not needed at all, the main thing is to look presentable and command convincingly. It all depends on your specialization. If you like a strap-on, then buy a special belt with attachments, if bondage – then a means for fixing. Percussion and pain devices are the last thing to think about. There are many times less masochists among men than lovers of submission. In addition, many want a light spanking, not a hard one, and have a taboo on footprints. Therefore, for a start, a whip from a BDSM store will do, which consultants will help you choose.
– ARE THE ROPES EXPENSIVE?
– I sell them for 500-600 rubles for an eight-meter cut. This is the average price in the city. For hanging, you need seven to ten cuts. A little girl will take fewer ropes than a big boy. I have a set of eight unpainted cuts worth 4 thousand. But shibari, as I said, is not only suspensions, you can practice making harnesses on the floor for the first time, and three or four cuts are enough for this.
– HOW DO YOU ENSURE YOUR SAFETY?
– I meet only in hotels, no home visits and invitations to my place. Plus, over the years of communication with such an audience, I learned to read people in a couple of phrases. I also have a list of questions for potential subscribers and a list of people who I can call if something happens. Finally, I am always ready to cancel a meeting if the person seems suspicious in person. No heroism and no hope at random, safety in such cases is more expensive than money.
– ARE INJURIES POSSIBLE DURING THE SESSION AND CAN THE LOWER ONE COMPLAIN ABOUT THE BEATINGS?
– Yes, theoretically anyone can complain about beatings and injuries after the session. But I have not heard of such cases, even when the trauma actually took place. For example, bottom girls have this not uncommon story. A beginner bondage player or guru, with his eyes blurred from a constant conveyor belt, squeezes the median nerve in his hands with ropes, so that the lower one cannot move them later. Shibari is actually a dangerous practice, there is even the concept of “bondage trauma”. There is no 100% guarantee of safety, and many years of experience in tying does not give it either. In addition, many samplers of both sexes climb into ropes without bothering to really find out what awaits them. They do not know how to control their condition during the action, they trust their carcasses to well-known masters without hesitation, which also increases the risk of injury.
But we prefer to let everything go on the brakes, even if the upper one misled the model and did not send it to the doctor, so her treatment eventually took months and took a lot of money. Moreover, if a girl not only writes a statement, but even simply complains about something like this on a thematic forum, she will be mixed with dirt, they will say that since she came herself, she is to blame. And the master-scrapman will remain in a white coat, especially if he is respected in the party. This, incidentally, shows that what kind of society, such is the topic.
As for the guys, if they already hide their deviations, then there are some problems in this area and even more so. The maximum that I have heard is cases, like I came to a femdom party without finding out in advance what awaits him there, and got a breakdown of the template from what was happening and / or excessive traces of exposure. And even such information must be pulled out with ticks in great secrecy.
– WERE THERE ANY INJURIES IN YOUR PRACTICE AND WHAT PRECAUTIONS DO YOU TAKE, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PROVIDE FIRST AID?
– I take the issue of security very seriously. Over the years of practice, I have twice had cases of injury to my lower arms. They were immediately sent to a neurologist and completely recovered their health. It is very important to analyze what exactly went wrong in dangerous cases, so as not to repeat mistakes in the future. I usually do a mini-educational program on this issue before each session with a new person.
As for first aid, in cases of pinching of the nerves in the hands, it makes sense to wait an hour and a half until everything returns to normal, and if this does not happen, go to the doctor. Self-medication, as well as waiting for weeks that it will resolve itself, is unacceptable. You need to find out about the rest of the possible emergency in advance, asking the lower one about his state of health. For example, a person with high blood pressure should not be hung upside down. Each person composes the first-aid kit of a sadomasochist to the extent of his responsibility.
– DO YOUR RELATIVES KNOW ABOUT WHAT YOU DO?
– Mom has known for a long time, she accidentally discovered and at first she was in shock, now she calmed down. I am 36 years old, I am not married, I am already late by Russian standards. But, by the way, in a femdom, age is more of a plus. A very young and sweet girl will not provoke a desire to obey. Potential downsides are waiting for you to bend them right out of the door or to show that you are potentially capable of it.
– IS THERE A GROWING INTEREST IN SUCH PRACTICES?
– Yes, every year. Last year, rope sales increased tenfold compared to previous years. This fall they fell, but a second wave is not excluded. In summer, there was a great demand for master classes, even in June, in the heat, people came to study shibari. This class lasts three hours with short breaks, this is an individual lesson for couples of any level, it costs 4,000 rubles. I gather groups for femdom seminars – 20-30 people come to them.
– WHAT DO YOU TEACH THERE?
– I focus on the psychological component of dominance: how to set yourself up, how to conduct a session, how to communicate, how to position yourself, how to practice in an environment full of gender stereotypes.
– TALKING TO YOUR PARTNER AND GIVING FEEDBACK ALSO NEEDS TO BE LEARNED.
– Yes, but sex bloggers write a lot about this now. You can google “BDSM feedback” and find a bunch of articles. But no one tells you how to behave so that the slaves, who, in theory, should be submissive or at least gallant, do not bear your brain and do not fray all your nerves. Nobody explained this to me in due time.
Bottom guys are very difficult to build relationships with. They are a little less than always hanging on to their ears, tell how they need the one and only mistress, how they are ready for anything. But in reality, everything is not so: I tried it – and was not seen again. Or he tried several times, and he began to roll back, the person got a new experience, and then began to think that this was all wrong. He disappears for six months or a year, starts a vanilla relationship, then his Wishlist starts to itch again. As a rule, there are seasonal exacerbations. In autumn they write, then go into hibernation for the winter, and appear again in the spring. And this is if not to talk about the complete inadequacies that daily bomb a PM on the subject of free online waste or just getting nasty.
All this is terribly annoying. We must learn to set ourselves competently, to set rigid boundaries, so as not to shatter our nervous system. Nobody teaches this, and I decided to take matters into my own hands. I myself faced this, got a bunch of negative experiences and decided that it was time to do something. It is a mistake to think that since you changed into a mistress, picked up a device and learned how to use it, then you will immediately have a huge selection of obedient men. You are much more likely to have a nervous breakdown.
– HOW SHOULD YOU BEHAVE?
– We must clearly set our own conditions, there must be subordination, it makes no sense to make concessions. You will not be taken seriously if you allow yourself to be addressed as “you”. “Hey, baby, let’s go to temper” – this shouldn’t be in a femdom. I used to believe that you can be friends and build relationships with lower ones, now I think not. I am friends and just communicate with friends from the hangout. An exception is for those who participate in my shows. For example, one of my partners for the public is not at all lower from the word “absolutely”, but simply loves to be in the center of attention.
If we are talking about real sessions, then the guy should feel inferior to the mistress 24/7. In our country, the majority of men initially consider themselves superior to women, they do not understand what equality and equal relations are – either I am the main one or the subordinate.